A few months ago I had the pleasure of listening to Liz Anderson-Peacock talk about an experience which encapsulated her thoughts on lying. Someone had asked her to lie for them in her role as a chiropractor. They had asked her to tell a dis-truth, something that did not happen so that they may gain from the situation. Her response was that she would not lie about this. Because if she lied about one thing, that person would forever question what else she would lie about. It made a hell of a lot of sense. Or, what if you chose to keep something from someone and they then found out at a later date, that you had chosen not to tell them. Lets use the best example possible; Someone was unfaithful in a romantic relationship, they chose not to tell you thinking that it would bring more pain and suffering to you and the relationship, but you ended up finding out. You can understand and respect their decision, but would you not then question what else they may have chosen to keep from you.
And what about a friendship, do you trust the sincerity of your friendship less when you have found out you were lied to? So why would you ever do it to another. For some reason people think that correcting a truth is not possible. The awkwardness would be too much, "I would not know what to say". Start with this,
"Hey (name of friend or loved one), i told a lie and i want to correct the situation cause i value our friendship/relationship too much" Bammm.. tell them what happened. I think the first line is the hardest. If you can not do it face to face, I have found driving in the car is the best place for it, just the 2 of you staring straight ahead. The conversation is of course limited to the duration of the drive. So be smart when you bring it up.
No matter how awkward the situation I think it is worth telling the truth. When it comes to the pain it may cause another if you were to tell them the truth, most people say if you can hold that information to yourself and tell no one and it does not affect you or the relationship than it is best to hang on to your secret. That is a personal thing for you to decide i guess. I am not sure i could. I don't like holding energy that is not useful in my body.
Honesty is considered the most desirable attribute of leaders, and it is the number one thing I look for in all relationships.
I feel as though this blog is long, but it is hard to just finish without quickly covering gossiping. I'll lkeep it simple by saying if you want to never be bitched about or gossiped in a negative way these simple steps may help you out a lot.
1. Tell your story only, if someone else told you their story, it does not mean you can then repeat it, for it is not your story to tell.
2. Speak highly of everyone, and lowly of no one.
3. Your relationship with one person is different from everyone else, if your best friend does not like an acquaintance of yours, it does not mean that you have to dislike them. Surprising how many people struggle with that one. Everyone gets along differently with everyone. ya?
4. And the greatest ever quote to live relationships by, "No bad will intended, all good will assumed"
hope you have enjoyed another blog.